Salam & hi to all,
i am going to talk a bit about parenthood tonight. every time i see the picture of a rugged or fashionable hair styled korean singers, my heart would pump inconsistently faster. i am so worried of the trend nowadays that pop stars are looked as 'perfect' and most youngsters want to be like them, no matter how weird they look.
dont be surprised that i asked all my kids to watch with me, the latest video clip of lady gaga alejendro. they were covering their eyes, giggling and screaming 'Ma, this is porn video'. i asked them to watch till the end. i know they would watch it anyway, secretly alone or with their friends. so it didnt make much difference then.
i would like to write more about the danger of this song for the viewers but due to the time now is almost 2.30 am, i think i better go straight to the point.
i told my kids, its very important and essential to understand and get to know deeper on the personality/whoever they admire or intend to emulate. i dont mean to tarnish the identity of any public figures/artists, but the identity they are having did explain by itself where, it contributes to the imbalance of the society of the youngsters. this inculcate to identity crisis among them. thus, in my case, i have to explain to my kids why and how lady gaga is inappropriate to be followed as an music idol (or whatever term!).
talking about having the identity crisis, communication within the family is one main factor that can avoid this from happening or at least help our children in understanding the objective/importance of having the muslim identity. i have to admit, the role as a mom & dad is not always an influential person in the family, but being there with an open mind and ears, would create a healthy Q&A or just a simple chat with our children. i tell you, its not an easy task to have an efficient and effective communication with the youngsters when we know that they have other closer friend who listens better than we do.
i never instruct my boys to end their friendship with friends who smoke and even wearing necklace, instead i asked them to stick with these friends, and show good example of a muslim who 'work hard' to keep the muslim identity. i mentioned to them, its hard to influence others but sometimes, with the noble intention, we might win with our objectives. the danger, i warned them, is we ourselves might carried away with the people we tend to 'fix', so to be at the safe side, just portray good muslim identity and share the goodness of it with their friends. by not having me as any threat to the friendship, my views would be put into their deep consideration and who knows, they would adapt to the idea, insyaALlah.
my advices were, it takes time to change the attitude from bad to good. to build the character of good muslims requires the understanding and the right emotion of why we need to do that or lead others in such a positive way. if we are not strong enough (heart and mind) and we ourselves might be the influenced party, then differ ourselves by ending the friendship. thats why when we love Allah SWT more than anything, we unconsciously do good things, socialize the way the Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us, refrain from doing the bad deeds and always do righteously wherever we go and with whoever we meet. for me anything is good is automatically influential. nobody wants to imitate nor emulate any walking zombie (unless he is crazy).
i asked them to observe our cats, panda and leopard. leopard is younger than panda, and always follow panda wherever he goes or plays. i guess he loves and admires panda for being so loving and caring (haha)..yes, panda plays, sleeps with him, and at times 'bathe' him compassionately. panda is an idol for leopard.
just look at the effect.
i pray and hope that my kids will grow up as people who carry with them the 'face' of the religion and having the identity of true muslim.
at the moment i dont have any high expectation for any of them to be some influential persons on earth. anyway, how nice if the angels are talking about them in the heaven for being the influential persons who work for islam on earth. Amin :)