Friday, March 19, 2010


2 days ago, Mr A came to my office, to sign some document, looking cheerful and fresh. This quite good looking Arab, has been a good client to me. I never acknowledge him as a ‘friend’ though, and i know this upsets him. I don’t call a client 'a friend', unless there is some similarity in something, like having the same hobby or sports activity etc…but with this client, who to me a good pay master client, is a client who i say 'hi, how are you, salam and bye bye' and this goes to other clients too. I know this statement upsets him more. Honestly, I don’t see any ‘fikrah’ that connects both of us.

I remembered how I was rushing out from the office and while opening the office door, I was stopped by my staff to introduce Mr A, who looked like the movie character ‘lost’ and he was looking lost indeed. All eyes were looking at me, 'an angel' who solves all problems pertaining his company. I couldnt give any excuses, my legs were frozen to step out the door, though it was already opened. Instead of going out for a meeting at other client's office, I sat down at the guest room, listened to the whole story and consulted him what to do and what were the 'donts'. He looked very relief and thanked me for my advice. That was many months ago.

So, like how I attend the other clients that was how I attended this particular client, Mr A. like how I advised them, the same went to him, no special treatment, no extraordinary consultancy. He said he was lucky to see me, after few month liaising with my staff. After that, we met few times, in the office. I always try to skip every time he wants to discuss about personal life. If he tells his, I would be obligated to tell mine, which I dont fond of doing. Deviate topic is my expertise. :p

For a number of times he has invited me for dinner, which at times, I took all of my kids together with me, if it happened that the job was urgent and I got to see him after the office hours. I don’t feel convenient meeting him alone as if we were dating or something like that. I am not use to have ‘table manner’, never liked any official lunch/dinner appointments...i like 'free style' of eating, hahahaha…

Jokingly he said, he would wait 1000 years for a special dinner. If he is serious he might be insane, or blind or 'die hard' haha. Many times he said that he would be the luckiest guy on earth if we couple up. Again, I took that as a joke. kidding or what not, that didnt really bother me until his confession on Wednesday afternoon, which really surprised me. Why? He has asked my hand for marriage ! I was shocked but hid my expression. I never thought those jokes were hints for this. I laughed to cover it up, and said ‘IMPOSSIBLE’, spontaneously. I know it was rude to act such a way. Being gentleman, he asked me not to reject him yet, but suggested me to say ‘WHO KNOWS' for the answer.

Feeling curious, I asked him why me? he is handsome i can say, tough looking, and there are many many young beautiful ladies out there who would crawl for him. Smilingly he said that he loves me, my way and everything about me ! this is SCARY and to tell you the truth, i feel scared. Politely, I apologized telling that the feeling isn’t mutual, as I don’t have any feelings for him. I think that is why the word IMPOSSIBLE is the most appropriate as an answer, a slip of tongue is a slip of mind. I am not a liar. I don’t lie to myself. Being normal me, I told him that I had works to do, and bade him good bye. I know he wont give up. Although i kept on laughing, but in actual fact, i was disturbed.

I tried to recall back the way he proposed to me. From the way he looked at my eyes, i know he was damn serious. His reaction can be read. But why me? We hardly met, maybe once in 2-3 months, and all meetings were considered official. I am not so feminine and we always ‘debate’ whenever I disagree with most of his thoughts. He told me that he had broken up with few ladies throughout 2009, and what is that got to do with me anyway. An appeal of sympathy? Too bad, i am a well learnt person in this drama hahaha...(ops, sorry, my bad).

In doing business, especially in consultancy field, I want to be professional in my work the best i can, our relationship is concerning about work and his company, no more no less. That is the principal, i dont know how long i could hold on being ethical, if it happens i really fall in love with a client, other than him ! So, with Mr. A, after having few problematic love affairs with few local ladies, I don’t know where and when his feelings slips through and decides to settle down. worse of, with me!!

This have been lingering around my head for almost 2 days. i am pretty sure why i said NO. So, this is the reason why. I hope this could be an advice to ladies out there, who might be facing the same 'problem', or are sitting on the fence to decide, whether YES or NO. I am speaking my mind here, and I know I don’t talk nonsense. Call me a conservative adviser, if you like, i dont mind at all :)

So here it goes. Don’t do any favor to anyone if you are not sure why. Find reasons why you choose to reject instead of considering. Is there any necessity? Who will benefit from the marriage? Will it solve any problem if you agree? and how would you think it solves your problem in the first place? in the eyes of a friend, he can be a good pal, in the eyes of his mom, he could be a good son, in the eyes of his sister he could be a good brother, in the eyes of his boss he could be a good staff, as a hubby, only the wife could tell. Think not once, twice….think until you are definitely sure !

Love is pure. It might be blind, yes, but your heart doesn’t lie. Check your heart. Really try to understand it. Listen to it. It knows who is your soul mate. It recognizes him, its just that, it doesnt have a certain 'language' to tell you. But dont worry, your heart and his heart can communicate, as they 'talk' the same special language. Don’t fake your love, as it will show. Don’t pretend, as your actions will tell. Don’t be hastily, as you are not in any match. The more you chase for it, the more you’ll get frustrated. Love will come voluntarily. Trust me :)

Leave everything to the Almighty, the most Loving, the most Merciful…He knows the best companion for you. God has made a very beautiful arrangement, so have faith that you and your truly soul mate would be united. Pray that in the 'eyes' of Allah, both of you are soleh and blessed as couple. It is beyond our capability to forecast the best companion for us. Marriage is not a weather.

But once you have made up your mind, make sure you prepare ‘an umbrella if it rains’. If you are unsure, its ok then to say NO.

here is for legally married couples, enjoy listening :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


they 'stole' my chocolate bar again !!! arrgghhh !!!

there is no safe place for chocolates in my house. we have a number of 2 legged cute 'mice' in the house. i hid them behind some small boxes in the refrigerator, sometimes above my closet and even in my handbag...guess what? they wont last long. these talking and smart 'mice' have special nose, having special radar detector for chocolates and there they go, found my 'treasure'. the last thing i know, my chocolate bar vanished.

thats why i have to eat ice cream instead where i could eat it there and then, no need to hide in the refrigerator, as i said, no safe place to hide my 'treasures'....these 'mice' will always have their cut. after all, they have the veto power when ever the ice cream seller calls out 'mat kool mat kool kawanku' from his motorcycle outside our house :p

hmmm....these 'mice'..they are really 'greedy', not that i am stingy, i have bought each of them their chocolate bar each...and have warned them not to touch my dark chocolate bar. well i guess, since dark chocolate is still nice and yummy, it cant save itself from being 'stolen' by these 'sweets addicted mice' dark chocolate bar are all gone. nothing left !

but this little 'mouse', came to me, with her sweet voice to cheer me up, 'ma, ni untuk ma...' giving me what have been 'salvaged' hahaha.

anyway, this is what left...i am not angry anymore :D

meet the chief 'mice', the cutest of all, singing about a cat in the school :)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


i got my first copy of AVATAR dvd last 2 weeks, and didnt have the chance to watch it, until few days ago. i have to admit, i was 'nailed' to my chair till the end of the story. i give 2 thumbs up to the master mind of the movie, james cameron and of course to all the crew in the making of this super duper extraordinary film. to tell you the truth, this is another second love story that has made me frustrated for not being selected as the heroin, or shall i say, james cameron is an expert in making women hearts melt with the script and story line on love, sacrifices and responsibility of a man. actually that isnt the real case and i am not serious about it, although deep down in my heart, i wished i were neytiri :p

most movies have a happy endings. most of movies directors also know the expectation of the market that the bad will always lose. amongst us there are 'greedy savages' who are tycoons employing scientists for their researches and 'armed two legged dogs' lurking making damages as ordered, without realizing that everybody is making holes to the only big boat that floats in the sea i.e. our earth within the galaxy. we as human being, created by God, have been programmed with limitations, from the aspect of capability of imagination,emotion and physical strength. this is where the cream of AVATAR surfaces...communication and the bond with the other creations within the pandora system, tsahelu.

james cameron has highlighted sarcastically that in the name of science and exploration, invading others is politically important. taking advantage of an unarmed and non developed nations is permissible. 'clensing' through whatever means is legal. taking other lives is ok for expansion purposes and other problematic 'misbehaviroul' consequences. how the Na'vi community taught them? cant express my feelings during the co operation among the clans took place. it was awesome to see how those hightech flying machines were defeated by big flying creatures (looked like dragons-ikran) and Na'vi warriors with their native weapons. i am sure mr cameron loves his works and i think he deserves more oscars and deserves more and more oscars if this movie can convey the message and educate those greedy explorer that our enviroment is at stake...the problem : they never learned any lesson and if they do, they fail to understand.

sorry for the stereotype synopsis for a stereotype story line. so, lets cut the crap. we know that in reality, the damage is done. according to the University of Melbourne, a new study reveals that shrinking glaciers, plants blooming earlier across Europe and lakes declining in productivity in Africa can all be linked to human-caused climate change since 1970....and an article from national geographic says that the digging of millions of tonnes of coal underneath the ground, is the main contributory factor for earth quake. just look at chile. my blood boiled up and i was really pissed off reading the article...but after looking at the surrounding of my house, with wooden doors, airconditions, electrical households appliances and many others..*sigh, feeling guilty*. these are the evidence of me supporting the motion of damaging my only 'boat that floats'..i know i will sink with the others :(

i watched AVATAR more than 5 times up to now, and today, i kept on thinking, why this hero, jake sully chosed to depart from the real world he was having and let his avatar body take control of everything, joining the life of Na'vi community who cant produce their own electrical power plants using water falls as the electric inducer, people who hardly appreciate proper clothings, detached themselves from comfortable style of living and etc . why must he rejoined the non developed community and live like natives who stray away from all the modernity and sophisticated way of life?

the answer could be this. as i said earlier God created us with limitations. what we are having now, is beyond our heart capability of acceptance and consent. we are against all of these 'unfriendly to nature' activities and having money and power as the religion. we know that the world is deteriorating. where are our voice, do we have any say? those puppets who attend the meeting which held in geneva every year couldnt do anything but nodding.

jake sully has made the right decision. he couldnt fight the rebellious unhappy heart he was suffering. the bond and heart connection with other lives is the pulling factor and that is also being programmed in our hearts. we need this. this eventually leads us to the recognition of God as the Almighty. his heart couldnt lie what he really seek to get a real life. a life which full of respect and trust of/from every lives in the pandora system, which he has given up hope he could ever get on earth.

he knew what he is getting is peace and happines, he couldnt wait this to happen, who wouldnt want this?. before terminating his normal system to his whole new avatar life, he bade goodbye to us in his video log saying..'i dont want to be late for my own party, and its my birthday afterall'...that was one a happy farewell after seeing his destiny. he was even more ready of this final transformation, being reborn and a beginning of a whole new meaningful life.

seriously, looking at the current condition of our rotting earth now and the rat racing to make ends meet....i think i want my own avatar.