Companion

In The Name Of Allah, The Source Of Peace and The Inspirer Of Faith.

Salam & hi to all,

this is going to be a bit personal. i hope it wont bore you and thanks in advance for reading :)

every night, i would choose any of Anwar Al Awlaki's lectures, put the earphone to my ear, listen to it, until i fall asleep, and on the following morning, would repeat listening to the lecture in the car to catch up which part that i missed. this have been going on for over almost a month now.

am i being obsessed?

or have i fallen in love with this martyr? what all of this lead me to? would Allah SWT curse me over these feelings? should i feel guilty? is it wrong to hunt down the kind of knowledge that would help me to increase my faith?

if this is wrong then how to fix it? or am i confused between liking the person or his mind?

it was raining heavily just now and the night is quite calm, it seems. i feel peaceful.

its nice to realize that in reality, none of the creation can give peace to our heart, not even  the preachers, teachers, good friends and others who want to lead us towards alhaq (righteous) for all of them are just the 'transporter' of the ilm (knowledge) itself.

i truly believe that Allah SWT is inviting me to Him, therefore He prepares the means  for me to reach Him.

i hope this finding is blessed by the Highest Companion.