Salam & hi to all....
its drizzling outside but damn! my eyes are wide open and i am freshly awake. i should be sleeping by now enjoying dreams in my sleeps. hmmm..maybe due to the green tea i just took.
to share with you, i recall watching Inception few months back, and my bad, i watched it twice. that movie 'haunts' me even till now. sometimes i believe what i am having now is just a dream, hoping to hop into my sleep to be 'inside' my dream. well, ALhamdulillah... things are getting a little bit better now. how?
i have been telling myself that life needs to go on. anger hatred sadness dont bring me anywhere, but to be honest, these negative elements could sedate me to sleep. actually when i couldnt handle it in my mind, my brain gets tired. maybe its how i run away from thinking about it haha..
of course, everything we do in this world is driven by something. i wrote about it in my previous post. yes of course, i said that Allah SWT is the drive for me to do anything or everything. sometimes, i admit, all the 'due to God' intention slips through and i did things without having any motives, just based on emotional/mood. thats why some of the output of my efforts seemed weak, vague and even resulted to failure.
do you get what i am trying to get at? actually i want to talk about ki, not about ki in aikido class, or ki in wing chun etc etc....its ki for doing something. any motion needs a push. soft or hard. doubting me? just ask yourself, when ur wife asks you to do something which doesnt favor you, would you do it right away? if she smiles asking and give you one light kiss on the cheek, then why you 'obey' her promptly? what moves you? what energizes you?
in my opinion, ki is derived from inner self or being transferred from other person to another person. i give you a simple example. when i was holding my youngest daughter in my arms, listening to her stories, looking at her smiles, enjoying the music of her soft voice...gives me the special energy to fuel my next activity, taking her out for ice cream for instance. oh she loves that!
when Allah SWT has destined her to be my child, He wants her to be held in trust and yes, i am taking that responsibility. that is the preliminary point. given a little push (ki) being responsible has become something enjoyable, fun and at times, satisfactory. again, how? having the ki to do things that God asks us to do, motivates us in doing it full heartedly. the momentum of this good deeds, makes everybody happy. having to see this respond, bounces ki, and this positive impact continues to go and bounce, again and again. dont you see the connection? we will feel good doing things we thought difficult. we will feel that we live for a reason/reasons.
just look at Wu Xia (latest 5star kungfu movie), the leader of the most wanted and cold blooded gangsters. he didnt enjoy his life though no means could stop him in getting what he wanted. but at one point, he knew his soul was crying in agony, that made him shifted his life paradigm to 360 the opposite. being with his beloved wife and kids and surrounded with good people, his life was fullfilled with joy and serenity. he lived happily. whats caused him that? it was the ki derived from the people and the surroundings. he didnt want to exchange that for the world he used to lived in before. well, that is what i think.
for me, i am looking forward for more ki to enjoy living. its not so hard to get them if we put away all grudges.
i dont want to give in, as despair in life unpleases Allah SWT.