Sunday, June 20, 2010


Its father’s day, I don’t know whether its today or yesterday..i saw few of my frens’ postings on their FB walls, wishing happy father’s day, some of them wishing it sincerely, ...and some sarcastically posted. I can see, facebook is used to release tense and at times, to get attention from others haha, example, ‘ah, ladies drivers….’ and ‘OMG, that mad road bullies, huh men…’ well as long as nobody gets hurt you may curse each one of you while you are still breathing, but remember, Allah has created only 2 genders in this life, and all comes in pairs.

Single parents (ladies) out there, don’t waste your time writing up those postings full of grudges and swearing, which is obviously dedicated to their ex husbands, for you will lose more energy rather than gaining. Nobody will pay attention to your misery, they might read and just smile for another juicy free information. Write up something positive and flush those sad/bad memories away, you would feel better. Trust me.

Talking about ‘war of the roses’, we need to stop condemning men, and men out there, need to stop belittling women. Whatever has happened, has happened. Now, talking about it, labeling all men is like that and like this, is just like putting our fathers in the same bad category and same goes to men, listen well, all of you being born by a lady whom you call mother, and her gender is woman, stop looking down on your other half. We need to stop this typical non profitable kind of ‘war’ for it benefits none.

In my previous writings about the appreciation of your spouses, I did mention about 3C 1R. please read again, and maybe it would help to understand what I am trying to get at.

In getting attention, some ladies tried to reach a parallel level with men. Smoking, weight lifting and many other massive physical activities which we thought can be done by only men, have been proven wrong. Scientifically women are built with certain chromosomes to be as females and men are having their appropriate set up of hormones internally produced to stand as male. Although scientists have tried to challenge God’s settings by giving the prescription of estrogen hormones to men to increase the ‘female’ elements and to interrupt the male body system and vice versa for the ladies with the consumption of testerone hormone to look like conan the barbarian, still they fail to find any formula to stop the beard from growing but to take those estrogen pills. They just couldnt find a formula to stop the DNA production in the woman/man bodies. I have a personal question to these ladies and these kind of men, what exactly you are trying to prove? trapped in wrong bodies? huh..

getting attention isnt a crime and in my personal opinion isnt wrong, as it might boost some self esteem but is it an appropriate attention we are pleading from? We have to come back to our senses. God has created us with functions and that is fixed. We have duties to fulfill and held responsible to our Lord to take good care of bodies and mind. Don’t get easily influenced and corrupt you own mind and body with the mass media motto ‘WHY NOT’. There is no transgender and no shemale terms in any civilized vocabulary!

Men don’t have womb and women might hurt their womb by trying to become men (like lifting extremely heavy things etc). we do things that is within our capability which will comply to the COMPLIMENTARY, COMFORTABLENESS , COMPATIBILITY and RECIPROCAL in marriage, for instance. Does it make you less a woman to do a simple plumbing work or does it lessen your manhood to cook or to sew like how your mothers did? The prophet even sewn his own torn shirt!

What am I getting at actually? Whatever we do, we know the limit, and if this were balanced out, we know that the relationship works well. Getting the attention from your spouse, yes maybe a little, but if you do it to get his attention, it wont last long.

Don’t try to show off, don’t feel challenged. Be yourself and be the best of you, not to impress others as all fade. You name anything, all fades with time except one, if you do everything for your creator, The Creator of man.

Its just like ‘ki’ if you do things for Him, setting the intention and projecting the action for and because of Him.

This energy doesn’t fade but enriches from time to time notwithstanding how sagged your skin have become.


  1. Dr.Maryam,

    good writing :).For me, everyday i am bound to do all the best for my parent. a fathers day it is just a day.

    banyak orang kata, kalau mencari suami/isteri carilah mereka yang mengasihi dan menghormati ibu bapa. kasih bukanlah dalam erti wang ringgit tapi kasih sebagai anak yang soleh...

  2. Aliff,

    thanks...ya, doa anak yang soleh itu yg kita harapkan bila kita sudah tiada lagi di bumi ini..