Friday, March 19, 2010

ITS OK TO SAY 'NO'

2 days ago, Mr A came to my office, to sign some document, looking cheerful and fresh. This quite good looking Arab, has been a good client to me. I never acknowledge him as a ‘friend’ though, and i know this upsets him. I don’t call a client 'a friend', unless there is some similarity in something, like having the same hobby or sports activity etc…but with this client, who to me a good pay master client, is a client who i say 'hi, how are you, salam and bye bye' and this goes to other clients too. I know this statement upsets him more. Honestly, I don’t see any ‘fikrah’ that connects both of us.

I remembered how I was rushing out from the office and while opening the office door, I was stopped by my staff to introduce Mr A, who looked like the movie character ‘lost’ and he was looking lost indeed. All eyes were looking at me, 'an angel' who solves all problems pertaining his company. I couldnt give any excuses, my legs were frozen to step out the door, though it was already opened. Instead of going out for a meeting at other client's office, I sat down at the guest room, listened to the whole story and consulted him what to do and what were the 'donts'. He looked very relief and thanked me for my advice. That was many months ago.

So, like how I attend the other clients that was how I attended this particular client, Mr A. like how I advised them, the same went to him, no special treatment, no extraordinary consultancy. He said he was lucky to see me, after few month liaising with my staff. After that, we met few times, in the office. I always try to skip every time he wants to discuss about personal life. If he tells his, I would be obligated to tell mine, which I dont fond of doing. Deviate topic is my expertise. :p

For a number of times he has invited me for dinner, which at times, I took all of my kids together with me, if it happened that the job was urgent and I got to see him after the office hours. I don’t feel convenient meeting him alone as if we were dating or something like that. I am not use to have ‘table manner’, never liked any official lunch/dinner appointments...i like 'free style' of eating, hahahaha…

Jokingly he said, he would wait 1000 years for a special dinner. If he is serious he might be insane, or blind or 'die hard' haha. Many times he said that he would be the luckiest guy on earth if we couple up. Again, I took that as a joke. kidding or what not, that didnt really bother me until his confession on Wednesday afternoon, which really surprised me. Why? He has asked my hand for marriage ! I was shocked but hid my expression. I never thought those jokes were hints for this. I laughed to cover it up, and said ‘IMPOSSIBLE’, spontaneously. I know it was rude to act such a way. Being gentleman, he asked me not to reject him yet, but suggested me to say ‘WHO KNOWS' for the answer.

Feeling curious, I asked him why me? he is handsome i can say, tough looking, and there are many many young beautiful ladies out there who would crawl for him. Smilingly he said that he loves me, my way and everything about me ! this is SCARY and to tell you the truth, i feel scared. Politely, I apologized telling that the feeling isn’t mutual, as I don’t have any feelings for him. I think that is why the word IMPOSSIBLE is the most appropriate as an answer, a slip of tongue is a slip of mind. I am not a liar. I don’t lie to myself. Being normal me, I told him that I had works to do, and bade him good bye. I know he wont give up. Although i kept on laughing, but in actual fact, i was disturbed.

I tried to recall back the way he proposed to me. From the way he looked at my eyes, i know he was damn serious. His reaction can be read. But why me? We hardly met, maybe once in 2-3 months, and all meetings were considered official. I am not so feminine and we always ‘debate’ whenever I disagree with most of his thoughts. He told me that he had broken up with few ladies throughout 2009, and what is that got to do with me anyway. An appeal of sympathy? Too bad, i am a well learnt person in this drama hahaha...(ops, sorry, my bad).

In doing business, especially in consultancy field, I want to be professional in my work the best i can, our relationship is concerning about work and his company, no more no less. That is the principal, i dont know how long i could hold on being ethical, if it happens i really fall in love with a client, other than him ! So, with Mr. A, after having few problematic love affairs with few local ladies, I don’t know where and when his feelings slips through and decides to settle down. worse of, with me!!

This have been lingering around my head for almost 2 days. i am pretty sure why i said NO. So, this is the reason why. I hope this could be an advice to ladies out there, who might be facing the same 'problem', or are sitting on the fence to decide, whether YES or NO. I am speaking my mind here, and I know I don’t talk nonsense. Call me a conservative adviser, if you like, i dont mind at all :)

So here it goes. Don’t do any favor to anyone if you are not sure why. Find reasons why you choose to reject instead of considering. Is there any necessity? Who will benefit from the marriage? Will it solve any problem if you agree? and how would you think it solves your problem in the first place? in the eyes of a friend, he can be a good pal, in the eyes of his mom, he could be a good son, in the eyes of his sister he could be a good brother, in the eyes of his boss he could be a good staff, as a hubby, only the wife could tell. Think not once, twice….think until you are definitely sure !

Love is pure. It might be blind, yes, but your heart doesn’t lie. Check your heart. Really try to understand it. Listen to it. It knows who is your soul mate. It recognizes him, its just that, it doesnt have a certain 'language' to tell you. But dont worry, your heart and his heart can communicate, as they 'talk' the same special language. Don’t fake your love, as it will show. Don’t pretend, as your actions will tell. Don’t be hastily, as you are not in any match. The more you chase for it, the more you’ll get frustrated. Love will come voluntarily. Trust me :)

Leave everything to the Almighty, the most Loving, the most Merciful…He knows the best companion for you. God has made a very beautiful arrangement, so have faith that you and your truly soul mate would be united. Pray that in the 'eyes' of Allah, both of you are soleh and blessed as couple. It is beyond our capability to forecast the best companion for us. Marriage is not a weather.

But once you have made up your mind, make sure you prepare ‘an umbrella if it rains’. If you are unsure, its ok then to say NO.

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here is for legally married couples, enjoy listening :) video

4 comments:

  1. pergh ada juga yang boleh tersangkut dengan sis yam ni.. client pun trus boleh cair ni.. maybe cara sis yam kot dia sudah silap tangkap.. neway i like when you say.. bawak anak2 skali when you pegi makan with that guy sure hampa jer rasa hahah. Tapi bila hati memang tak rasa apa2 kan.. memang susah nak accept.

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  2. itulah rizal, dah tua mcm ni, ada juga yg tersangkut..hahahaha...apa2 hal pun, hati belum terbuka, perjuangan masih belum selesai :p

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