Friday, December 11, 2009

CRYING IN FRONT OF CHILDREN HELPS TO DISCIPLINE THEM? OH NO...

I saw a lady, giving her opinion in The Oprah Show, that she cries in front of her children to discipline them. Frankly speaking i really cant imagine myself, if i were to put myself in my kids' shoes and watch me, their mom cries, sobs.....just to get the understanding, that she disagrees, or demands of something to be done, or just merely throwing a tantrum...

Raising 5 kids solely handed, for many years now, would surely made me insane, or at least drive me half way to crazy, haha..but believe it or not, i never cried in agony being in this situation. Relating to this, i remembered a verse in the Quran, which quoted that the fate wont change, if we dont work to change it.

To my understanding, if we dont place any effort to change any situation that isnt in our favor, that maybe at the current time of moment pulls a momentum towards sadness, or poverty or anything, then, thats what we deserve to have. So, in my situation, its a matter of swifting the situation from negative to positive, from demotivation to motivation.....from resentment to acceptance...if gives me such a relief. Am i the unfortunate? no! i take this as a training that without having anything to work for, i would be staying at home, eating, sleeping and watch hundreds of pirated dvds..which is very very bad for my health ;)

My kids are the drives of my effort to stay alive and enjoy living. i wont get into poverty raising them and no one can become a millionaire by saving his money over their kids..life is fair and my action is a classic example of an unconditional love from a mom to her kids.
hmm...i have been carried away here, am i not? hehe... whats the issue? oh yes, crying infront of children..

No mom is perfect, but for the kids, their mom is everything. i do feel sad sometimes when my kids ignored my instructions, and when they obeyed, i feel really enlighted. I know, i am the mom figure and at the same time the father figure, i have the gentleness, and i have the firmness. I laugh with them, and i shout at times...but to cry? ah aa....not a practical and appropriate action especially in getting their co-operation or their 'ears'.

I am not a child Psychologist but i really dont agree that crying infront of our kids helps in getting their attention. The effect could turn to be the opposite, they might disrecpect us as a return. Is crying even a way of communication? If it does, is it an effective one?

I still think that crying infront of the children is unpractical, and the weakest way of throwing ones tantrum.

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